Weddings at Saint Bart's
We're flattered that you would consider celebrating this day with us.
Before Calling, please read below and this link.
We can help you have a wonderful wedding. Marriage is not an easy risk to take these days; more than 50% end in divorce. The culture sends mixed messages about the value of life long commitments. We encourage anyone who is intending to get married to try these links:
And purchase the following books:
- Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
- You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen
- The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley
- Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert
St. Bartholomew's supports all couples by having public vows celebrated for the recently betrothed and anniversaries.
The priest will give you two books:
- The Marriage Journey by Linda Grenz and Delbert Glover
- The Art of Being Together by Frank Wade
What we require
Religion
One of the couple must be a baptized Christian. You must be willing to consider the Episcopal Church your home. For a Holy Eucharist, both should be baptized Christians.
Church Commitment
We believe that marriage thrives in a community. We hope that St. Barts can be that community. We believe that the church can deepen the joy of the wedding itself. A wedding is a public event (it's the reception that is private) for the entire community.
Please expect to join us for the Holy Eucharist at for at least six (6) months preceding the wedding. We will announce your wedding for the six weeks prior to the wedding.
If the couple lives outside a 6 mile radius of St. Bartholomew's, they may attend another Episcopal, Lutheran, Catholic, Orthodox, Presbyterian or Methodist church.
Setting a Date
Please contact the clergy before setting a date. This makes it easy for the priest to set his calendar and make sure the church is available.
Pre-marital Counseling
The priest offers 5 sessions of conversation about marriage. These may be (depending on the number of people expecting to get married in the church) group sessions with other couples. You may be expected to meet another married couple. If you are seeking counseling for a ceremony in another church, the appropriate minimum fee for the cleric is $75/session.
As part of premarital counseling, the priest strongly recommends that each couple find an older couple, a mentoring couple, that has been married 20 years. They should take them out to dinner and talk about what worked and didn't work in their marriage. The priest has a list of questions and would like to talk with the mentoring couple beforehand. The priest also has mentors he can recommend.
Additional ceremonies
Betrothal Ceremony
You may also celebrate your engagement here at St. Barts with a prayer during the Eucharist. In ancient times, a betrothal ceremony recognized a testing time before a marriage. This blessing is intended for those who seek the church's recognition that the relationship before the wedding is serious.
One Year Anniversary
After one year, the church offers the opportunity of blessing the couple during the Sunday Service.
Other Forms of Ceremonies
Some forms of intimacy and life-long commitment are not recognized by the state. The Church acts for the state when conducting weddings. It is thus impossible for the church to act in its traditional role in such cases.
But any community of faithful people can gather and bless two people deeply in love. St. Bartholomew's may permit such blessings in the church if the two people are known, committed, faithful and pledging members of the community, upon the discretion of the rector.
The Ceremony
The priest will celebrate the ceremony. In special circumstances, he may invite other clergy upon the recommendation of the wedding party.
Sometimes couples hire wedding planners to assist with the ceremony and festivities. The priest has liturgical authority during the service. The wedding planner assists the priest. The priest is not an accessory and it is unseemly when a cleric gets resentful.
Photographers and videographers shall be non-intrusive. They cannot be on the altar, nor block the line of sight for those attending the wedding. It is common for priests to forget their place in the service and the names of those getting married due to the distractions provided by individuals walking and running around.
Ceremonials (unity candle, a broom) may be added at the discretion of the priest.
Fees
The entire offering is a tithe of the entire cost of the wedding. This means if you spend $10,000 then $1,000 is an appropriate offering to the church, including the gift to the priest, the organist, sexton, and church building fee. Such a gift demonstrates the couple's willingness to share with the community. It also encourages perspective in an age of excess. The tithe is a tax on envy to discourage comparing one wedding to another.
The priest is paid no less than the wedding coordinator.
Minimum Fee Break Down for Pledging Members
- Priest - an appreciative honorarium
- Church $100
- Sexton $150
- Organist $200
Pledging members, however, are assumed to be more generous.
For Non-Pledging members who seek to have a relationship with the church
- Priest $350
- Church $750 [according to need and cost of entire wedding]
- Sexton $150
- *If reception at church $200
- Organist $250
With the priest's permission, other traditions who have relationships with the Episcopal Church may celebrate their weddings in this space. The priest helps with the rehearsal and the church fee pays for heat, capital expenses and the work of the church wedding coordinator.
The priest may conduct weddings off site for individuals who will not become members. The cost in these cases will be $400 + travel.
We also have a DJ who offers a great playlist. His cost ranges from $500-$750. He may be reached at kabirdeleeuw{at}gmail{dot}com
- Priest $150
- Church $1250
- Sexton $150
- *If reception at church $200
- Organist $250
Wedding Receptions may be held in the church hall
+ $100 for sexton
for more information, go to the contact page and send us an email!